Tube girl, walrus-tiger, mescaline and a talking bull

I'm on vacation with a lot of friends. It's a bus tour. There are a line of coves in a wall, each with a woman inside. One of them starts talking to me. She's black, grotesquely thin and her torso and limbs are tubes - bendable like Gumby, with no joints. She has an attractive face. We want to have sex, she tells me if it works, she'll love me forever. This makes me uncomfortable, but I say nothing. She bends her head down to her vagina and spits a bunch of hair conditioner like fluid into her vagina. It's very hard to get my penis in her, and when I do, her torso is like a sheath around it as my penis is grotesquely large. I have me hands completely around her "chest" and can feel my penis moving under her skin. It's too painful for her and we have to stop.

I'm staying in a huge room with many beds in a hotel near a college in Michigan with many Minneapolis friends. I leave to go record shopping and there are hundreds of people around as I flip through endless outside bins of records and CDs. Many friends and acquaintances from throughout my life are around. I realize I've lost both my wallet and cell phone. A high school classmate finds part of my wallet, but the part with money has been separated from it. I find four or five cell phones on the ground, - none of them are mine, but some belong to friends. I carry them with me.

I meet a childhood friend who wants to give me a blow job. I tell him I don't want him to, but he's very persistant and talks me into it. On the way to his house, I stop in front of a yard packed with people. There's a violent cross between a tiger and walrus being controlled in a net by a man. I take pictures of it. We try to find somewhere else to go, but there are people everywhere we go.

I'm back in my hotel room and it's time to go to bed. I'm sharing a bed with a friend and his wife. I can't sleep. Before everyone wakes up, I eat half a cactus I've been carrying around with me. People had told me it contains mescaline, but I didn't really believe them. I'm washing in a large communal basin and accidentally trip some sort of overflow pipe which causes a lot of water to quickly drain outside onto the sidewalk. Walking out the door, a bull without horns has come to look at the water and tells me he was just checking to see if I'd filled their water trough. I tell him I just accidentally let some water out of the tub inside. "Oh," he dejectedly replies and walks around the corner to rejoin his herd. I realize there must have been mescaline cactus and follow the bull to talk some more. I tell him I wanted to talk because I'd never met a talking cow and we make small-talk.

I run a bit on the way back to the hotel room and the ground tilts below my feet. I realize I'm really tripping and wonder if I'll be OK on the bus ride home. Everybody else is up now packing for the bus. I remember that mescaline lasts a long time and ask people whether they know. Nobody really believes I'm tripping. My friend picks up the rest of the cactus and runs out with it. I follow him across a courtyard of the college where many students are playing some sort of lawn-bowling game that I interrupt as I run across their lanes which are divided by ribbons. I like the way the cactus is making me feel and my friend is teasing me that he's throwing the rest away. He throws a chunk near a building. Retrieving it, I come across a table selling "mushroom cookies" - cookies with hallucinogenic mushrooms baked inside. I want to buy some, but have lost the money part of my wallet. I talk to the people behind the table about them, asking about the many varieties. The main woman says this is her 11th week there and she'll be back each week other than for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I discover I know who one of the people behind the table is, but he's not there at the time. It's the guy who makes Miniml fonts and components for Flash, someone goes and finds him so we can meet. We shake hands, and he's not at all like I imagined him, large and oafish. He's heard of me too, through my old fanzine Gourmandizer.

I return to the hotel room and almost everybody is gone and getting on the bus. My friend and I make a last pass through the room to make sure nothing is being left behind. I realize I don't have my baggage. I run toward the bus, frantic that it will leave begore I find my bag.