In Romeo and Juliet

It's Christmass Eve and I'm with my family. My brother and dad leave for Christmas Eve service, I wait to go with my mom who needs to get dinner in the oven first. I fall asleep and wake up in an hopur or two - I ask my mom what time it is, she repliers she's glad we missed the service.

I remember that I'm in a production of Romeo and Juliet that night. I ask my mom if she remembers what time it starts. She says she doesn't think it's till eight or nine. I have a small part in the play, but we haven't rehearsed in months and I don't know my lines. In this production, we wear regular street clothes and it's OK to read from the script, but I can't find my copy. I go to a Barnes and Noble to pick up a copy, feeling a little rushed.

At the store, I remember that I need three settings of silverware for my part, so I pick out some cutlery. I notice some really cool plants - some sort of low-light succulents that seem like they'd do well in my vivariums and I buy some of them too. By this time I know I'm going to be late fort the performance so I buy another Shakespeare play instead.

I arrive at the theater which is a theater in the round made4 iof stone. The cast is taking the curtain call. They walk through the audience towards me, nobody says anything about me not showing up although everybody is aware. The director says we can do a run at the theater.

Boxing horses, wrecked hotel

I'm staying at a hotel with three other guys I don't really know. I wake up to find one of them has done hundreds of dollars worth of damage to the room and shades in the halls. I'm explaining to the others that if we con't call the cops on the guy ourselves the hotel is going to make us all pay for it.

I'm outside the hotel, looking up a hill. There are cowboys wrangling up wild horses and low flying aircraft. The horses have very strong hind legs and I think about how I told someone in waking life my body aches felt like I'd been kicked by a horse. The horses can use their front legs a bit like arms and two of them are having a fistfight.

I'm wrestling with the guy who wrecked the hotel room. I hear a particularly loud particularly low plane that seems to be approaching from beyond the hill. As I wonder if it's going to crash on us, it comes into view - it's not an airplane but a giant blue dumpster. The guy who I was going to call the cops on is holding onto me as if he would rather die with me, crushed by the dumpster, than be arrested.

Shaved off my beard

I'm waking up, realizing I drank so much I blacked out the night before. I've done a horrible job of shaving my beard off while I was blacked out.

Neon fish

I'm on vacation with my parents. We're sleeping in a tent outside a hotel. I'm awake in the middle of the night and decide to clean the car's windshield which has a lot of hard, thick dust on it from the previous day's drive. It's very dark and I realize I'm cleaning the windshield of the wrong vehicle. It begins to downpour; I return to the ten which floats away in a flash flood.

I'm dangling a hook and string in the water and catch many tiny fish. The tent comes to rest at a facility that is something like a miniature golf course and something like a stocked fishing pond. It's very crowded. Almost immediately I catch a large fish with a huge dorsal fin. It's fins and edges are decorated with living material like a neon sign.

Car stolen on vacation

I'm on vacation in Wilmington. I'm staying with a friend who lives in a large, old house with mant housemates. I've brought some of my frogs with me. I'm alone while everybody is at work. I sleep in and am woken by people who say they're friends of someone who lives in the house - they need to come in to get something out of their friends room. I'm unsure if I should let them, but as the door was open, I figure they would have come in even if I wasn't there.

I go to a sort of street fair with bands playing. The main events are across a moat - one has to take an underwater bus to make it the short distance across. I lounge, mull around and nap across the moat from the bands. There are some interesting local frogs I'd like to take back with me. I walk back to the house as people start arriving home from work.

I ask people if they have a container suitable to keep frogs in. Eventually I find a 5 gallon restaurant bucket. My girlfriend and I go to the water to catch some frogs. When I open the container, some of the frogs I've brought with me are already in it - the bucket is almost full of sand leaving little room for the frogs. I tell my girlfriend I have to return to the place I'm staying to get some more containers for frogs. On the way back, I see many of my frogs, some of which seem to have dried up and splintered into many tiny frogs. I grab as many as I can carry in my hands.

As I arrive back at the house, I notice a woman is in my car - she is looking at a tall stack of CDs which aren't mine. As I open the door to confront her, I notice there are many people around my car and a large man is working on the engine. I approach the man and see my engine is gone. As I'm speaking to the people around the car, I realize the man has been disassembling and stealing my car part by part. Pretending not to realize this I surreptitiously dial 9-1-1 and say things to make the dispatcher realize my car has been stolen.

A police car soon approaches and the man tries to run - I grab him in a bear hug and subdue him easily although he is quite a bit larger than I am. The police are familiar with him as he has stolen cars before. They haul him off and tell me to come in and file a report tomorrow as they're getting off work soon. After they leave, I realize four teenagers were carrying off the car parts for the man. I grab two in a bear hug and call to the police, but the police ignore me. I let the kids go.

I realize I've left my girlfriend by the water - the ordeal was over an hour long - and I rush back to apologize for leaving her there and to explain what happened. When we get back to the car, even more of it is gone - all that's left is the chasis and wheels and ignition. We get in the car which surprisingly still works. As I begin to drive it out of the parking lot, I realize it's clamped to the side of a tow truck and this is why it seems to still, work. The tow truck driver explains that the car is actually not drivable. I realize I'll, have to fly back.

There is an in-flight movie about World War II. I am blown away by footage of a large formation of US bombers dropping bombs on a massive formation of Japanese bombers below. As the bombs hit the place below, the formation falls apart like a huge thin wafer flaking apart in the sky.

I'm back home and have driven to the police station that has arrested the man who stole my car. There are no police officers or clerks around, only other people waiting. My mom is there too. I'm wondering if I'll have to still pay for an expensive part a repair shop had ordered for my car. I leave my mom at a set of doors and go to a room where a friend lives. She's sitting in a chair naked and I lay on a could on the other side of the room, also naked. The friend tells me there were many times she would have liked to have sex with me. I remind her we did have sex, and she explains that she means having unprotected sex and getting pregnant. She says she would now, but she's having her period so couldn't get pregnant. Her roommate walks in and says she'd like to have sex with me too and is also having her period, but doesn't mind having sex on her period. I motion that she can come sit on the couch with me, which she does. I realize I recognize her from somewhere from the tattoos on the front of her thighs. She has a deformed, impish face but I find her oddly attractive. I explain that I'd like to have sex with her but have a girlfriend and the girlfriend is actually in the building. We lay together and nap.

My mom walks in the door and I remember I'm there with my mom, not my girlfriend. We return to the police station. There are many seniors sitting in school desks and still no police officers. I yell, "Where the fuck are the cops?" A voice comes over a public address system that I am considered hostile and that everyone must lay on the ground. Everybody does and on the way down gestures at me with their hands in the same way and makes their eyes large and round. After a few minutes, I point out that I was right: there are no cops around to even arrest me. I basketball bounces out through a door and a young player walks by me to retrieve it. I sarcastically remind the kid I'm hostile - he shrugs it off, saying "I know."

Eventually a cop comes and leads me away. He is very offensive and vulgar - everyone around him, even his coworkers is disturbed by him. Someone else waiting to be processed says he's not the type of person he wants protecting his community. I say that the guy probably has rescued kittens from trees at the same time the cop says the same thing, This makes the cop like me and he lets me go.

Watching myself crash on a plane

I'm on a plane returning from a business trip with a coworker. The plane seems to be crashing but I'm not sure. The plane then tilts so I'm sitting at a 90 degree angle and I'm sure it's crashing. My coworker and I are suddenly in sleeping bags on a sidewalk as if we're camping out in a line for tickets, my coworker is asleep. I see the plane that we are also still on diving towards the ground in the distance. I quickly try to wrap our sleeping bags around us to protect us from impact. The plane crashes in the distance and I sit up and put my hand on my coworker's back to see if she's OK. I realize I'm dreaming.

Filming a movie, buying shoes and trying to get breakfast

I'm in a large room with a huge geopolitical globe made of ornate wood flying a remote control toy plane with a camera on it. I have to shoot the opening sequence of a film, which pans across the Costa Rica part of the map. The whole dream takes place in a gigantic room, which must be a movie set.

I'm waking up in a sleeping bag. There is someone sleeping in a sleeping bag next to me. Much dust and tiny insects are hanging in the air, lit up by early morning sunbeams. A large and colorful caterpillar/sea slug is crawling through the air eating the insects and dust. It's very close to the person next to me and rather creepy looking.

I have to get up early to go buy shoes. A friend I used to date is coming with me. I buy some outlandish red shoes and wear them as we walk to breakfast. It's very early and the restaurant is just opening. One must climb a precarious wedge of bent and polished wood to reach the door to the restaurant - I'm having trouble keeping my balance. A waitress comes through the door at the top and swings to me on a red satin rope, handing me a second red satin rope when she reaches me. I'm supposed to swing across the space to reach the door, but also have trouble doing this.

The room is now a large artificial canyon with limestone wally. I see a missile hit the wall near the top of the canyon - it's not a real missile, but a model for the movie set. It knocks down a water tower at the top of the canyon. The water tower is supposed to be in Gaza or the West Bank. I worry that the water tower may come collapsing down on me.

Swallowing goldfish and preparing for a hike with a friend

I'm sleeping in a bed at my brother's apartment. I'm woken by children pulling my sheets off and using them as robes. A dried bat or rodent leg falls from a grilled trap door in the ceiling. I open the door to discover it's a Murphy bed folded into the ceiling. I play piano quietly to myself as children and strangers mull about in adjoining rooms.

I'm walking past a Civil War monument on a college campus. "Southern Rights" advocates are demonstrating in front of the statues and counter protesters in identical dress are counter-demonstrating in front of them, holding hands in a single line facing the statue. I pat the head of the last protester as I ride between the Southern rights demonstrators and protesters.

I'm still on the campus with a friend from high school who attempts to swallow live goldfish. He puts ten or twelve in his mouth, but can't swallow and spits them out on the sidewalk. I see that he was trying to chew them. I tell him "You're not supposed to chew!" and swallow the few that don't have any teethmarks.

I'm back at my brother's apartment - my parents and brother have left for a vacation by the coast - I am to meet them there later. Both my friend and I need to leave at 2:30 for separate destinations. We both miss our trains. I'm bragging about hiking to people in the train station. I wonder if I should extend my vacation and hike in the Appalachians.

Back at my brother's apt, I see it's been sublet to a group of drag queens. A man violently pushes a woman below the floorboards into a hole, I help her get out. I find my brother's backpack.

I'm walking with my friend who is also wearing a backpack. We're carrying no supplies, but our packs are heavy - my friend is struggling. I see that he doesn't have have his hip belt fastened - I explain that one is supposed to carry the weight on the hips, not the shoulders, but he continues to trudge along with the hip belt flapping.

I wonder if I have enough money to buy supplies for the hike.

A miniature Tyrannosaurus rex on a treadmill

I realize I still have my ball python and haven't fed it in years. I also have a baby albino python that turns gray in parts occasionally. I don't have anything to feed it either, but I let it out to hunt flies in my apartment. I decide to go get food for them and put the small snake back in the tank. When I put the cover on, it doesn't fit because there is a man sleeping inside, I don't know who he is, he might be me. He adjusts his position and the cover so it fits snugly.

I go to a Target in a mall which has a large pet section. They have no mice, but some crickets. I wonder if the baby snake would eat crickets. There are a lot of amazing reptiles for sale: a bright black and rainbow colored snake and a metallic snake.

I'm looking at a tank that has two lizards that are miniature Tyrannosaurus rex. One if them is jogging on a treadmill. They're not too expensive and I think about buying one, but decide not to because I don't keep reptiles and suspect the store may be unethical in the collection of wild animals. I stop a clerk to ask if they are carnivorous or vegetarian.

In an abandoned hospital

I'm in an old abandoned hospital that some people are squatting in. Some friends are with me. We enter the second floor and I'm alone in an apartment full of lush fabric. I curl up with a blanket to take a nap. The residents come home, and I apologize and leave.

I'm in a difficult to navigate stairwell. I make it to the second floor. I go into a room where a musician acquaintance lives, he has it set up really great. We're out on a balcony where I find an old violin-like instrument. It has two "strings" which are flat pieces of plastic. I find it quite easy to play and enjoy what I'm playing, but my friend says I'm pretty horrible and makes me give the instrument to him. While we're chatting, it comes up that the second floor is dangerously haunted. Alarmed that my friends are still there, I rush to go warn them. The stairwell is even harder to navigate. When I get to the second floor, I can't find my friends.

Living atop a skyscraper

I'm living on the very top of a skyscraper - from my bed I can look down on some of the tallest buildings in the city. I get a sense of vertigo.

There doesn't seem to be a way of entering the dwelling, only an exit, which is a roller coaster-like downhill ski area. The dream loops back and forth several times between me going down the extremely steep ski jump and being in bed looking down on the city.

Making a Kim Jong Il slacker movie

I'm on vacation at a resort on the Mississippi in Georgia. It is early in the morning, before dawn. Everyone is sleeping on mattresses outside, there is snow but it's warm. I get up to move my mattress somewhere where I can see the stars better.

I'm wearing ice-skate-like shoes which allow me to glide across the snow, but the blades are huge and flexible and allow me to fly. I realize I'm dreaming and make a note to patent the flying shoes when I wake up. I'm carrying a gun in my pocket.

I'm walking on a porch overhanging the frozen river looking for somewhere out of the light to watch the stars. A naked toddler stops me and starts climbing all over me. She tells me that I'm "the one who named that cat moonshining" and that her uncle wanted to offer me a job because he thought it was creative and he wanted someone who could name things like that for him. She calls her cell and gives it to me. The uncle, who has a foreign accent, wants me to direct a movie for him. I leave the conversation knowing it's funded my Kim Jong Il but will be a slacker genre movie, will pay "12 stone" and I'll work in Hilltop. I'm unsure if he'd want me to quit my job to do it. I look up Hilltop on Google Maps and find there are three: one near where I'm vacationing, one near where I live and one on the western shore of Alaska.

I'm still on the same porch, but now I'm dragging a bundle of fire hoses across the porch, weaving them in and out of posts so it will leave places for people to walk. Suddenly, I come to a section where there is an unconnected joint in the hoses - there are cloth ribbons that seem to be meant to connect the joint, but I don't know how to do it. I hope the movie guy doesn't find out I don't know how to connect the joints.

By this time, dawn has broke and I realize I won't be looking at the stars. Somehow the dream shifts and I'm working with the movie making guy. He has a huge house, slate on the outside, wood on the inside which is both his home and production studio. He has just come back from the high school across the gully and has paid them to change their sports team's name to promote the movie. I realize he's eccentric and spends his wealth unwisely.

My job for that day is to doodle in the snow with extremely long colored pencils - several yards long. I'm by the side of the road, seeing how far out into the road I can doodle while remaining on the side. A vehicle approaches and I motion that it's OK to run over my drawing.

It's a bus covered in naked girls either taking one to have an abortion or taking her to a religious ritual to get her not to have an abortion. Either way, this is suddenly part of the movie and the characters one by one rip paper off the outside of the bus to which the girls are clinging, making them fall off the bus.

An elderly character launches himself head-first into the bus off a spring board. He falls into a steep ravine and seems seriously injured. I run to help him, he tells me to arrange a party at his place that night. I ask him if he's going to die because if he is, we could call it the "kick-off party." He says he won't die.

On the way to the party, I stop to watch the completed movie. Afterwords someone on the staff asks me what I think of it. I say that genre is fun to watch and I might pull out a quote from it a month from now, but I'm not a great fan of the genre.

A Heart concert in my livingroom

I walk into my apartment which is the lower half of a house. There is a Heart concert going on in my living room! There are very few people there, two dozen at most. Someone asks me what's missing and answers the question, "About 100,000 people." I'm angry my landlord didn't tell me my apartment would be used for a concert. I yell between songs that I'm going to bed and everybody has to leave. People aren't into the concert at all, including the band, so everyone leaves.

An old friend of a friend is there and we decide to go to Chicago. I'm in Chicago buying food from a street vendor. It is a Chicago specialty I'd not heard of - bread, lentils and bananas in a cup. My friend orders one, I don't know what to get so I ask the vendor what's most popular. He makes me the "cream" version which is in a taller cup and has cream in it. It's very good.

We are still hungry and in a grocery store. A girl I'd given my number to earlier in the dream calls and I'm excited to tell her I made an extemporaneous trip to Chicago.

I'm in the produce section and see a single Rainier cherry. As I pick it up, a man picks up a second from the same bin. They are both shaped like conical hot peppers. The man asks if he can have my cherry as all he wants is two. I tell him no, I want more. I find more but they are packaged in very large quantities. My friend suggests we just go to McDonald's. I reluctantly agree, telling her this one time will be OK. I mention we should find a hotel soon because I can call in and not work in the morning, but I have to be at work in the afternoon, so need to be getting to bed soon.

Among giants, fish weapons made of molten metal

I'm in a friend's apartment, she puts ear phones on me - they don't play music, but protrude deep into the ears. They feel unbelievably good. There are insects crawling around. She picks up a huge grasshopper-like insect and throws it out the door. I sits in chair with wheels, my friend tries to put me through a glass window. Startled, I wake up for a moment.

Outside of her apartment, she gets into a red convertible, saying something like she wished she had a "real" one, gesturing to an identical car next to hers. I'm locking my bike to a telephone pole, naked. There are sores all over my penis. A guy asks me if I've been fucking a pig, I joke, "not in a few years". "You haven't had sex in 8 years?" he taunts.

I'm in a stadium of bleachers, I don't have a seat. Everyone is sitting in the opposite direction one would in a stadium. I can see weeds below the rows. I look for Horse Mint, a weed I had read about in waking life recently - police in Texas confiscated massive quantities of it mistaking it for marijuana. I see many interesting plants, but no Horse Mint.

I walk a short distance towards my high school and suddenly wake up in my dorm room. I have something stuck in my throat, spit it out and see is insects that crawled into my lungs while sleeping. I have to pee, and can't control it - pee starts gushing out of me and I can't stop it. I try to pee on towels and dirty laundry, but there's so much it forms large puddles on the floor. I'm trying to sop it up before anyone finds out, when my new roommate, a Sikh, comes in with his Caucasian host family. I notice there's a half empty bottle of water on the floor and hope everybody thinks I just spilled water. My roommate asks whether we should have our own sides of the room as his mom helps he clean up the floor.

I'm outside the dorm in a metal bus stop/free standing garage type structure with many strangers. Some sort of giant metal creature is attacking a building, the building is firing back molten metal fish and fireballs. Cinders fall from the sky. I tell everyone to stay in the shelter. A gigantic hand reaches across the sky, stretching almost all the way across the visible horizon. Giant people start walking away from the hand and building/monster fight - their feet are larger then the structure we're in and I am hoping we don't get stepped on. Someone closes garage door and we begin sliding down a hill and eventually tumble down concrete stairs. The structure comes to rest at the bottom of the stairs in the middle of a railroad track. A giant cop is opening drawers on our structure, he finds us.

I tell everyone we can go back to the war in Canada or stay in America as tiny people.

Tring to mow the lawn in the middle of the night

I'm waking up in the NC house in the middle of the night because my dad is mowing the lawn. He's also watering it with a hose at the same time. He stops to take a break and I decide I might as well get up and mow instead of him. After I'm outside, my dad has turned into a college friend who is schizophrenic now in waking life. He's putting the hose - still running - through a tear in my screen onto my bed. I run in and shove the hose back out, very irritated by now.

I return to mowing, but keep getting interrupted by my friend who is coming out of the house with signed baseballs to play catch with. I have to repeatedly send him back in to get a non-signed baseball. I'm becoming very frustrated. A neighbor is also mowing his lawn; I tell him things have been really bad with my friend since he burned my money two weeks ago.

I notice my friend has left another mower running on the other side of the yard and walk over to turn it off. I walk by onions I planted a few years ago that are now gigantic. I see there's not much mowing left and just want to get done so I can weed around the onions. My mom comes out of the house and tells me I should stop because my friend is trying to sleep. I tell my mom my friend needs "an intervention", meaning he needs to see a psychiatrist. I demand it.

I return to mowing again and this time am interrupted by a neighbor who tells me I have to stop because a church down the street is having a yard sale. I start to tell her to have therm call me when it starts and I'll stop, but I'm almost done but decide to go talk to them myself. I approach a priest and politely explain the situation. He's a total jerk, saying three people live there and we should be able to find a better time to mow the lawn. I think about arguing with him, saying my parents are elderly and I work full time and volunteer, but just snottily ask what denomination the church is. I don't understand his answer, but a woman tells me it's "Vespers" as I storm off.

Back at the house, I examine a monopoly-like game I've been playing with my family and friend. In the game I can collect income and am examining how I can earn a lot of money so I can send my friend to a psychiatrist but I can't understand the writing on the card that tells me what my occupation is and how much I make.

My mom says since I've gotten little sleep, maybe I shouldn't go into work - she can write me a note. I think about telling her I don't need a note from her if I need to call in to work, but don't. I decide to go back to bed and stay home from work, then remember my bed has been soaked with the hose.

Missing a lot of great pictures

My brother's family and my mom and dad are visiting me in an unfamiliar apartment, but my bedroom is the one from the Ohio house. My brother's family have brought a dug and two cats with them. I'm sleeping in my bed and pleased the pets join me, but I wish they'd snuggle closer to my face.

When I wake up the next morning, everyone is packed up and gone. I'm sitting on the front porch looking at puddles of water with a beautiful oil sheen on them. I go into get my camera and realize my brother has taken mine and left his, which isn't as good. I'm trying to figure out how to use it and missing a lot of great shots of insects riding around in leaves on the water like boats. There are also common looking birds - sparrows, robins - but they have outlandishly long necks. Some are normal size and some are insect size.

As I'm missing all these great pictures, a sports car like tank pulls into the driveway/ It's about the size of a queen sized bed but has a fully functioning turret. My boss climbs out and I remember he's my roommate and has been off at school taking a class. A graduation procession follows - most people are dressed up in Margi Gras like costumes, but one is in a red and yellow jack-in-the-box costume several stories tall. I wonder if the person wearing it is at the top or bottom or is actually several stories tall.

I wish I had my camera to record all this stuff.

Fresh or saltwater eel?

I've been taking a nap and am surprised my parents have held dinner for me an hour and a half past dinnertime. We're having walleye and french fries.

I'm making a tape of the album vs by Mission of Burma for my niece. My parents tell me differ is ready, I'm irritated that I'm being interrupted. If find out we're not having walleye, but eel. I ask my parents if it's fresh or saltwater eel. It angers me they don't know.

Intruders in my NC home

I'm back back at the NC house as adult, sleeping in a spare bedroom. My dad gets in the bed with me and goes to sleep immediately, I ask him to leave, but he doesn't. I get up to find somewhere else to sleep.

There are many guests at the house - parents and kids of people I don't know who went to my high school. A three year old entertains me with a folder of pictures he's cut out of a magazine. I ask him if he's thought about going on TV when he's grown up. He shrugs. A second three year old reads me a story he's written, it's supposed to be funny but isn't. I'm not entertained at all but tell him maybe he'll be a writer. "Maybe a funny writer!"

In the kitchen, I discover some people who weren't invited - they seem shady and criminal. I tell them to leave, but they don't. I go to my mom and dad's room, wake them up and and tell them what's going on. I ask my dad if he has a gun. My dad gets three handguns in plastic bags out from under mattress and gives me two. I try to assemble and load them as we hurry down the stairs. I can't get them together or loaded and put them in my pants before entering the kitchen, not wanting to brandish them unless the situation gets potentially violent.

I again tell the intruders to leave. They don't.

We go across street and my dad calls 911, but doesn't describe situation correctly. I take the phone and tell the police there are intruders in our home. They put me in contact with a cop in the field and he asks me to stay on the line. They arrive within seconds.

Three police arrive in one car, two males and a female. One has an extremely long battering ram with which he knocks down the front door - the whole front of the house collapses, it looks like a doll house. Someone inside points gun at the cop with the battering ram, who is otherwise unarmed, but performs a martial arts move and disarms the assailant, stepping on the hand holding the gun. Arrests are made and the police leave.

The front of the house is back, but the front door is still battered down. My mom is on the phone asking a service if they can fix the door by the end of the day. I go inside to discover a few of the main intruders are still there. I point a gun at one and fire, but the gun is one of those toys that shoots out gliding mini-Frisbee disks. I continue to shoot anyway and the disks do seem to be painful when they strike the intruder. The guy shoots me in the stomach, but I don't get hurt.

A woman has a Buck Rodgers style ray gun. I disarm her.

The main criminal guy goes outside and gets in a lake. He starts dividing, he's an alien or something. There's five of him wasit-deep in the water. Everyone is horrified. The man/men laugh and shape-shifts into a growing metallic and huge odd shape. I successfully load the other gun - a 22 caliber pistol -and shoot and hit the mass, but it doesn't appear to have an effect. My dad says it's good because I "got some allspice or cardamom in him." Everyone scatters.

I'm climbing up the outside of the railing of a staircase outside the house, hanging by my hands. The main criminal guy's side kick is walking up the stairs says it was an optical illusion. "What, like an laser light show?" I ask. The criminal nods.

Psychedelic bus and boots, wine tasting class

It's the first day back at college.

I'm driving a school bus full of students to get it painted purple, I drop it off at the painting station. Everybody gets fitted for shoes while we're waiting for the bus to be painted. When it's finished, I see it's been painted purple and orange in a tie-die psychedelic way. Everybody's shoes are soft ankle high boots with purple and orange animal hair.

As I'm walking back towards town in my new boots, I meet girl I'm attracted to. We like each other. As we walk along and talk, we realize we're stepping on a bee hive in the ground. As we run away, I realize all the ground has beehives under it. I can't find the girl. Someone gives me part of the casing of cell phone I lost. I find other half on the ground nearby.

I get a ride back to my dorm from a redneck; he's horsing around driving with one wheel over a cliff. "Please don't," I implore him. I get out of the car at first chance and walk the rest of the way.

It's dark when I get to dorm and I'm very sleepy. I go to my old dorm room and step on people sleeping on floor. I apologize and explain this is my old dorm room and I just walked into it without thinking. I fall asleep right away among the pile of sleeping bodies on the floor. When I wake up I find the insides of my lost cell in the closet.

I have schedule of classes on something that looks like a tri-fold menu. I don't know where the buildings are that my classes are listed as being in. I have a wine tasting class that's held off-campus at 7 a.m. and I'm late.

Sleeping

In the dream, I'm dating a girl I went on a few dates with earlier in the year. She's recently moved in with her mom. I'm waiting for her to get home, laying down naked in the alley. I have an erection and am embarrassed.

I'm in her mom's bed, still waiting for my friend to get home. I see her come in through a cutaway part of the wall I thought was a mirror before. I pretend to be asleep.

I'm waking up in the hallway outside of the bedroom, my friend is next to me, my head in her lap. I pretend to be asleep for a while, then pretend to just be waking up.